Gilligan’s Island



Read the review here.

“This is a boring, irrational NES video game.”
– excerpt from the full review, which you can read here.

 

SO EXCITING
OH BOY A CONVERSATION!

 

Read the full review for the gruesome details behind the carnage of this all-out assault on the basic premise behind video gaming enjoyment, but here is a summary:

Gilligan’s Island on the NES is a video “game” in which you must find characters in a particular order who tell you to find stuff that you must use on other stuff to find other characters in order to get them to give you other stuff to use on other stuff for other characters in other places in order to find the stuff that enables the stuff to enable you to get to the next stuff and other characters, all while avoiding stuff and watching in frustration as the computer-controlled Gilligan puts himself in harm’s way throughout the entire tedious ordeal.

You may be thinking, “But Eric, you’re being harsh! What about the health bar and replenishing items, the randomly found hourglasses that increase the stifling time limit, the passwords for levels?!” To which I reply, “If your idea of a fun game is finding stuff and avoiding stuff and talking to people, go play Metroid without ever firing a weapon or fire up a session of Milon’s Secret Castle. Try beating Hydlide without using the A button. But, the whole time you’re doing any of these, have your annoying cousin yammer in your ear. Have fun, irrational human being who does not understand the basics of video game design and escapism.”

NES Gameplay Tips for Gilligan’s Island: Turn the console off. Toss the cartridge into a dumpster.

One Response to “ Gilligan’s Island ”

  1. […] mean, Gilligan’s Island on NES is somewhat distinctive too, but the extent to which I prefer Solar Jetman as a game is of an […]

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