64 Fun Facts About Super Mario 64



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Today is January 6, 2016. Yesterday was January 5, 2016 – a day that marked the 110th occurrence of 64-day sequences since the North American release of Super Mario 64, which took place on September 26, 1996.

Wow. That is quite an arbitrary milestone!

To celebrate, here are 64 fun facts about Super Mario 64.

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1) “Nobody has ever been destroyed by an atomic bomb playing Super Mario 64!” – a submission from @TLatshaw on Twitter.

2) The labels for the Super Mario 64 cartridges were printed with colors, not just black ink alone.

3) Super Mario 64 can be completed in one sitting, but you have to remain seated for the duration of the gameplay.

4) Mario, a character I have written about previously, appears prominently in Super Mario 64.

5) In Super Mario World 2: Yoshi’s Island (SNES), Mario is clearly seen to be wearing a diaper as a baby:

baby_mario

Which begs the question: Is he still wearing a diaper in Super Mario 64?

6) Super Mario 64 is a video game that contains a number in its title. The number itself contains two different numerals.

7) Any discussion of Super Mario 64 tends to invariably invoke the term “super,” which can carry a loaded implication, albeit perhaps defensible.

8) The eight-word phrase “I have never eaten spiders while playing this” has probably never been used in reference to Super Mario 64 – until now, this very moment, this singular intersection of time between my expression and your comprehension, our unique pixel-to-mind transfer of thought-information dancing grandly in the universe continuum.

9) Super Mario 64 was typically not seen as a direct competitor with Halo: Combat Evolved (XBox), nor with the Vortex line of Nerf-brand novelty footballs endorsed by NFL quarterback John Elway in a series of commercials.

10) The name “Mario” is not exclusive to video game characters.

11) Mario’s middle name is an item of infrequent discussion. As mentioned earlier in this list, Mario appears prominently in Super Mario 64.

12) Some people enjoy Super Mario 64 more than others do.

13) Of all the players who have played Super Mario 64 to completion, none of them have done so prior to their being born.

14) A standard Super Mario 64 cartridge weighs 3.22 ounces, according to this source. Since the cartridge sold around 11,890,000 copies according to this other source, we can thus surmise that when people say Super Mario 64 sold “tons of copies,” they are being literal. The game literally did sell many, many tons of copies. If you put all those cartridges in a pile, it would actually, literally, really weigh a number of tons. It would weigh so much. The weight would be an amount.

super_mario_64_cartridge

15) Opinions on video games can vary widely; as a subject of such discussion, Super Mario 64 is no exception.

16) I would guess that the most common way Super Mario 64 has been played has been with a Nintendo 64 controller.

17) Believe it or not, there were hundreds of other Nintendo 64 games. Super Mario 64 was not the only one.

18) “Also believe it or not Super Mario 64 was only the ninth Super Mario game.” – a submission from @The__Goomba on Twitter.

19) “It was also not the 64th.” – a corollary from @basscomm.

20) I don’t think I’ve ever stepped on a Super Mario 64 cartridge, but I could.

21) It is possible for Mario, the video game character, to swim in Super Mario 64. There are portions of levels designed for him to do this. This is not the only game in which Mario can go underwear, however; in fact, Mario has been swimming in his games since the original Super Mario Bros (NES).

22) Super Mario 64 is generally accepted as the first Mario-canon title release to feature a Koopa Troopa character who is not working for Bowser. In fact, subsequent Mario games would see Koopas joining him in quests altogether. This seems to signify a gradual disgruntlement among the Koopa troops, although whether this is due to mistreatment or merely a perception of Bowser’s incompetence remains unclear.

23) Cameo appearances are not just a phenomenon that takes place within the realm of cinema. One example from gaming history in Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars (SNES). Despite being a Mario game, flagship characters from other Nintendo franchises make brief appearances, namely Link and Samus. Super Mario 64 is not noted for any significant cameos, however.

24) What may be more noteworthy is the absence of Luigi in Super Mario 64. He is not in Super Mario Sunshine for the Gamecube, either. One could conjecture that such snubbing only intensified Luigi’s neuroses, which manifest in fits of crippling self-doubt and terrified bouts of anxiety, as can be seen in sequences in Luigi’s Mansion, also for the Gamecube. One could theorize that, faced with the debilitating psychoemotional state of the brother of their forerunning character, Nintendo’s “Year of Luigi” initiative in 2013 was an attempt to assuage Luigi and make him feel valued again.

25) Super Mario 64 probably does not belong within the “sports” genre of video games.

26) If you perform 64 in-game backflips in a row, you will have wasted a portion of your total time budget for your lifespan on an endeavor that is fruitless by any meaningful measure.

27) To truly reach nirvana, you must beat Super Mario 64 before even trying to play it for the first time. Can you perceive your soul’s true ending?

28) Does Mario have sexy armpits? Does anyone? It’s all subjective, right?

29) Labeling Super Mario 64 a “fighting game” would require an extremely liberal interpretation of that genre’s usual strictures.

30) I prefer The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask over Super Mario 64, unless we are choosing which Nintendo 64 game we believe is worse. Then again, if the choice was “which Nintendo 64 title do you not prefer,” selecting which one I prefer would strike me as a paradoxical exercise that could land me in an existential crisis.

31) “Watching Mario suffocate under water remains one of the creepiest ways to die in a video game.” – a submission from@PapaKennMedia on Twitter.

This is not Super Mario 64.

This is not Super Mario 64.

32) Mario speaks, somewhat, in Super Mario 64. Among his lines is a joyous “Wahoo!” I like that. Wahoo!

33) Contrary to a belief that absolutely no one on Earth has, Super Mario 64 never came with a coupon for a free cheeseburger at some sketchy joint simply called Ed’s Burgers.

34) Super Mario 64 has never exhibited any signs of bioluminescence, nor do I suspect it ever will.

35) If you grind up a Super Mario 64 cartridge into a fine powder, and mix it into your coffee grounds, it will not enhance the caffeine content. To be clear, your new mix will now have less caffeine per cubic unit of mass. This will not enhance the taste of your resulting coffee, either, unless you are currently undergoing an intense delusion.

36) Super Mario 64 is not the destiny our ancestors intended for us.

37) Many people believe that Super Mario 64 never actually landed on the moon.

38) Super Mario 64 is not the only Nintendo 64 game that Mario appears in.

39) If your Super Mario 64 cartridge begins deep-voicedly chanting in Latin immediately following a power outage and the onset of a severe thunderstorm, exit your house and contact a priest right away.

40) There is a possibility that a fact could appear on this list more than once. For example: If it is listed once, but then repeated later. In this instance, it would be a fact that appeared on the list more than once.

41) I could kill you with a Super Mario 64 cartridge. I say this with utmost confidence and minimal hesitation. I believe I could hold the cart, clutched tightly against my palm, and bash you in the face repeatedly until the resultant injuries are too much of a stress for your bodily coping mechanisms to handle. I think I can swing my arm with enough speed and momentum to form damaging blows for a steady period of time. I would posit that, to my advantage, as the cartridge breaks apart it will actually enhance my combative capabilities – jagged plastic edges will more easily tear a path to brain damage through the fragile flesh of your eyeballs, and bent bits of metal contacts will gradually shred their way through skin and muscle alike. My only concern would be the obstacle that your bone structure would present. My comfort, then, is that the orbital and maxillary structures alike are relatively thin and prone to breaking. For a long while, I have theorized that one could gouge one’s thumbs into another’s eye socket, pivot downward, and pull at their cheekbones until they cracked and snapped away from the skull. I have not had a chance to test this theory. Perhaps that could be my next test, after the Super Mario 64 cartridge murder. Suffice to say, the question is only of difficulty, not possibility.

42) During the Cold War, Super Mario 64 didn’t even really exist.

43) Super Mario 64 is not a very scary game.

44) If you stare at Super Mario 64 long enough, you will begin to see new shapes that were not there before. If you stare at these emerging shapes for long enough, they will begin to move. If you watch the movements of these shapes for long enough, you will begin to hear voices. If you listen to these voices long enough, you will begin to recognize individual words. If you listen to enough words in sequence – start running, and do not look back.

45) Super Mario 64 is not an effective writing utensil, except perhaps as a prompt.

46) Fill in the blank: ________.

47) The ability to swallow an enemy in order to gain their power does not make an appearance in Super Mario 64, but it can be seen in some other Nintendo games.

48) If you write a novel about Super Mario 64, you are likely super lame.

49) Four out of five dentists might have a vague awareness of Super Mario 64 but I have my doubts as to whether they would recommend it for cleaning your teeth.

50) Here is a video of Super Mario 64 being beaten in just over five minutes (with zero stars) –

51) Oh, right, part of the point of Super Mario 64 is to collect stars. This is not exactly a revolutionary idea in gaming.

52) Mario, the star of Super Mario 64, has appeared in a variety of different genres of Nintendo games. He has appears in sports titles, RPGs, racers, obscure efforts like educational and music games, and even a fighting series. But, to my knowledge, he has yet to feature in a dating sim. Am I wrong? This is not something that I want, it is just an observation.

53) What I want is a Mario movie made using the Super Mario 64 engine. Some may call me insane, but I would like to see that.

54) Maybe Mario hasn’t gotten more serious with the Princess because he fears the responsibilities that would come in being married to a member of the royalty. Perhaps when confronted with thoughts of being a future head of state, or having to learn how to navigate the treacherous world of politics, he simply gets cold feet.

55) Wait, does Mario even have feet? Have we ever seen Mario’s bare feet? Again, it’s not something that I want, I’m just curious. Also, can we please stop talking about Mario’s body and physical features? I do not feel that this is necessary.

56) Can you imagine an Earth on which Mario no longer exists? How many years will it take before he is no longer starring in any video games? 50? 230? And once he is no longer churning out gaming titles, how long before he is forgotten altogether? When he is no longer noted in popular writing? Before no trace of his ever having existed remains at all?

57) I’m not even going to pretend like I understand the dynamic of Mario and Donkey Kong’s relationship.  There’s some weird, screwy, messed-up stuff going on there.

58) There is a subculture of humans performing a deep dive into the galaxy of glitches that Super Mario 64 has to offer. They are becoming deities within the virtual realm of the Mushroom Kingdom. Here, look at this.

59) THERE IS NO MARIO ONLY ZUUL

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60) Super Mario 64 is an allegory of entering one’s final years, called “the golden years” by some, despite the impending dread with which many approach it. This is a sensitive period of life, but the masterful treatment by SM64 has touched countless hearts, bringing them to a renewed understanding of graceful aging and proper priorities.

61) You may know that 64 = 8 x 8. But did you know that 64 x 64 = 4096? Adding those digits together, 4 + 0 + 9 + 6, brings us to 19. Once again, add the digits, 1 + 9, and we have 10. After a final round of digit-adding, we arrive at 1. There can only be 1.

62) If the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.

63) There are some development artifacts that suggest Yoshi was intended for a larger role in Super Mario 64, perhaps as an ornery shopkeeper or as the lead in a fabulous ballet ensemble.

64) Super Mario 64 is a great video game. You may not like it personally, but it is great by any definition — its scope, its place in history, its innovations, its quality… if you don’t think it’s a great game, it’s because you’re some kind of contrarian hipster turdball.

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I hope you enjoyed these trivial tidbits! Be sure to like, share, subscribe!

This is not even a video game.

This is not even a video game.

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